Since, according to the five biological laws of nature, there is no "healing substance" or "magical remedy," but only supportive measures, every approach to creating a fundamental change in a person is based on communication.
However, from the perspective of these five biological laws of nature, the "psyche" as an operational center of thinking and rumination plays a subordinate role in the emergence or course of a biological program. Therefore, it is of enormous importance to be able to direct one's communicative competence towards emotional, biologically-archaic communication to assist a person effectively.
Communication, as understood in Nicolas Barro Coaching, is by no means just the expression of thoughts but any form of interaction between two living beings that is capable of changing attention, perspective, or inner attitude.
Thus, body contact, physical positioning, and intention are also part of "communication."
The following are some of the points used in Nicolas Barro Coaching regarding strategic communication. It should be noted that all of this knowledge stems from the research and observations of others, and thanks should be given for these contributions.
Just as humans know different languages and dialects, each person has their own language in terms of the emotional connection between words and memories or interpretations.
Example: Think about the word "dog" and what you associate with this term. Write down what comes to mind in the first two minutes. Now, ask at least ten of your acquaintances and note down their first two-minute responses.
You will notice that a simple, seemingly insignificant term like "dog" carries a variety of emotional associations that arise automatically and independently whenever the term is used. Try to find out what the biographical backgrounds of the respective emotional associations of your acquaintances are.
At the same time, people tend to distort parts of perception to reduce the amount of data. A typical example is that, at this moment, you probably don't have an awareness of the feeling of your tongue in your mouth. But now that you are aware of it, you can deal with it.
Similarly, things that seemingly do not change are "erased," meaning displaced from perception because they do not appear to be important—though they may actually be important.
On the other hand, it often happens that perception is generalized (all men are the same, it's always been this way, everywhere...) or distorted, which shows up when another person remembers a "different version of the past."
By paying attention to and understanding deletions, generalizations, and distortions, seemingly lost memories and information can be found and used again.
Whenever communication takes place, we try to generate images and sensations in others. The internal images of a person are put together in the way that is "typical" for that unique person, which is never the same as for another person.
One of the core models of this idea is the representational systems of the "internal model," which means that everything we perceive is perceived through different sensory channels. These can be visual, auditory, tactile, or olfactory stimuli (and more). Depending on the person's "accustomed perception," these different communicative channels are differently pronounced and present.
While some people are very "auditory" (sound-oriented) and, for example, retain a lot during lectures, but need to read aloud when reading a book to hear themselves, others are more "visual" and can only remember something well if they have seen an image or a drawing related to it.
For each of these "communication types," certain words (verbs, adjectives), body postures, gestures, and changes in language (melody, pitch, etc.) are associated.
By knowing a person's representational systems, communication with them can be simplified by choosing a style they are familiar with.
Example: Try explaining something to a friend using only language, without gesturing. Then, explain the same thing by drawing or showing an image. Now, explain the same thing using models (e.g., building blocks) and guide their hand. Ask them which method was the most intuitive for them.
Much more significant than the spoken word is the unspoken—such as facial expressions, body posture, etc. By recognizing specific body postures and, most importantly, the transitions between them, it is much easier to follow the thought processes of the conversation partner and detect shifts between emotions. This happens automatically as a person has a particular intention. This has nothing to do with magical connections between individuals but is simply a mechanical process, because every intention is accompanied by certain combinations of emotions that simultaneously have typical facial and gestural characteristics.
Example: Try to create an intention of goodwill and kindness while telling a friend that you are very afraid of an upcoming event. Tip: Memorize the sentence you want to say beforehand.
People are talkative and often fail to allow time for a thought to develop. Silence, as a communicative tool, is an important and powerful instrument. Commonly, we try to practice mind reading and anticipate the conversation partner’s thoughts to express our own "understanding." At the same time, however, we prevent the other person from developing a new thought.
Example: Ask a friend what really bothered them in the past week. Wait for their answer and breathe calmly fifteen times before speaking—maintain eye contact.
The "position" refers to the hierarchical role one assumes in the life of the client. Many therapeutic approaches include forms of "mothering," where the helpless sick person is given the healing remedy.
According to the five biological laws of nature, this form of assistance can only be a temporary, symptomatic, or emergency help, while real progress for the person—meaning their ability to leave old habits and start something new—requires a different role.
In the positioning used in Nicolas Barro Coaching, the therapist/advisor/helper is the last link in the hierarchical positioning of the person, behind all family members and partners, as the source of power and progress for the person is always found in their own "system," that is, their own relationships.
If the therapist were to assume a "mother role," a dependent relationship would emerge, which would collapse as soon as the therapist is no longer available.
Every person has a limit of competence in terms of their permissions, abilities, and positioning (No. 5). Unfortunately, in Germany, it is a common mispractice for unqualified individuals to act as amateur oncologists, believing they can help the sick with knowledge of the five biological laws and regularly causing great harm.
Overestimating oneself leads to harm to others and is unacceptable.
As a coach, for example, I cannot, by definition, address the "illness" of a person, but can at best address their life circumstances, habits, and dependencies. For "illness," the respective specialist is needed. However, if life circumstances, habits, and dependencies change, leading to an improvement in the "illness," the specialist can adjust their measures. If the condition does not improve, the specialist remains necessary.
Thus, each person remains in their position, within their capabilities in terms of supporting the person.
Knowing and respecting one's own boundaries and competencies is essential for responsible work!
"We are like puppets with broken eyes, looking inward" (Nardone)—this quote well describes what happens when someone has an expectation or assumed prior knowledge during a conversation. They do not see what is really there but limit their perception to what they already expect within themselves.
Observe how your perception changes when you recall one of your own memories during a conversation. You will notice that, as you "go inward," you perceive nothing of what is happening in front of you. Technically, you are in a trance.
This mechanism creates "selective perception," allowing us to ignore what we are not looking for. Therefore, it is advisable not to "look for" anything—to avoid filtering out anything.
A good self-experiment is the "Selective Attention Test." If you're familiar with it, you can try the newly released version.